fixed gear/single speed conversion...don't try this at home

update 3/14:
this article was intended as a humorous piece, mis-use of language and incorrect usage of the singleator is intentional. i was wondering how long it would take for an astute reader such as tommy gun to catch my 'errors' thanx and have a nice day. the original post date was of course friday the 13th
please consult your local bicycle mechanic before attempting any single speed /fixed gear conversion

find yourself a 700 c freewheel compatible wheel(threaded), buy a sprocket, find an old bottom bracket retainer for use as a 'lock-ring', it won't actually lock(it may 'bind')
get an old school bike frame with semi-horizontal dropouts, or secure yourself a chain tension device such as a surley 'singleator'... strip bicycle down to bb, headset, maybe use stem and handlebars ...oh, and about the seat, you'll want one of those
find the optimum gearing: front ring and rear sprocket; i like 48x16 on the road, 38X16 cx, 2to1 on dirt
put on a front brake caliper and lever
new tires, new chain, new brake shoes
check the chain line
keep chain tension high

ride it into the ground and then build another